Monday, June 1, 2015

Did I overreact?

Dear mommys at heart,

this post it directed at you. I had a very strange, emotional, frustrating... encounter a few weeks ago.

I avoided to see my pregnant "friend" Rike after we came back from our Easter vacation. I knew she would be showing by then and I didn't know how I would feel if I saw her with her baby bump. To spare me the heartache I just avoided any contact with her. Apart from the occasional message asking how she is feeling maybe. But on a Sunday a few weeks ago we met. Another couple was with us. Pretty much at the beginning she and her husband showed us their new family car. Rike came over and half hugged me and rubbed my shoulder. Quietly I told her that she cannot do that right now or I need to go home because I am barely holding myself together. That's when it happened:

She totally freaked out. Yelled at me that she is tired of justifying herself all the time. She can't help that I am not getting pregnant. I might not be pregnant but I have longer legs than she does!!! I was like "WHAAAAAAAT?????" I told her that this is ridiculous and I would willingly give my long legs if I just got pregnant. Her reply was that she would trade with me as well. I had no more words for her. Or barely. That was too much. I started yelling then that I am sorry but I cannot be happy for her if she behaves like that!!!!

I thought we should talk about this incident just the two of us over lunch the following week. Although I have been hurt deeply. She just replied: "You know..." And I knew...

We were not in touch after that day for quite a while. But because our husbands are good friends I  invited both of them for my birthday. She replied that since things are not resolved they won't come. I apologized since my friend and my husband who were there that day said that my outburst was stronger than I realized myself. I apologized for that but she claimed and still does that I pushed her! I have never ever in my life pushed ANYONE, let alone a pregnant woman. I apologized for my words although she accused me of pushing her. I just think that she needs to take that accusation back because it is simply not true. Her only reply to my apology was just a simple "It's okay.". Hey, what about you? Don't you think you should apologize as well? For lashing out on me in the first place or for accusing me of things like physical violence that are just not true...?

What do you think? I bet you have come across similar situations on your journey TTCing.


  1. True friends are willing to discuss a situation like this to hopefully stay friends. Whether or not you overreacted is beside the point; it may be time to let her go.

  2. Thank you Brianna for your comment. I also don't think that she is a real friend. But since she lives right next door and our husbands are great friends I am the greater person and talked to her to at least make it possible for our husbands to spend time together and we are more or less comfortable around each other. I know that I am the stronger personality and in many ways I feel sorry for her because she is just not qualified in her job and this was the only way out of her misery. Her students always told her what a bad teacher she is... I know that I am a great one and therefore I try to enjoy the time I spend at my job a bit more. I personally don't see her as a friend anymore, she might. For me she is an acquaintance and our husbands are friends so we might spend time together as well. But that's it...